Never Stop Looking After Yourself

I don't really know what to say or how to start this off. It's a bit of a tough one to write if I'm honest, but yesterday it hit me. The past few weeks I haven't been looking after myself, as in I've hardly been eating, I got so sucked into being Mum that I forgot about me, I was just constantly on my feet doing something for the kids, changing nappies, helping Isla on the toilet, getting her juice, clearing up from breakfast and lunch etc. I was starting to stay awake until silly o clock and then would get up in the morning and be on my feet all day pushing myself to the max. I forgot I needed breakfast and lunch to help keep me going, I've always struggled a bit with eating, I'm not sure why either. I do love my food, I guess it's the thinking of what to do and then doing it that put me off, then having to clear it up. Not only had I stopped eating but the past week I'd even stopped drinking. It would get to dinner time at around 6pm and I'd think to myself hang on I've not had a drink today. I think this is why it's got so much worse, since Monday I've been having a few pains in my body and just put it down to starting to get poorly as Isla had a bit of a cold. Yesterday evening is when I had my wake up call, it came all of a sudden and before I knew it I was in bed feeling so exhausted, drained and run down. I had pains all over my body, tingly and shooting pains that were making me feel sick. My head felt so heavy and dizzy, I was having hot and cold sweats and I'm not ashamed to admit I thought I was shutting down and my body was giving up. I guess in a way it was, we have been so busy and I don't know where all the pressure came from but to get to a point that I'd hardly eaten anything all week and not been drinking in the day, it was a huge wake up call. I spent most of last night awake, the tingly pains were awful, I also had a couple of times that I was shaking and needed to eat straight away, thankfully Perry helped me as I was too weak to stand up and was a shaking mess. I threw up as soon as I swallowed food, it was really awful and I sat there thinking about all the things I'd been doing the past few weeks, all the days I was pushing myself harder and harder. I woke up this morning and it was like every morning in the week, Perry had left for work and I got up but felt so unsteady on my feet, I still felt so weak so I had to call him home. I felt so bad but I really needed the time to rest and just sit down. I needed it for me. 

I guess the point I'm saying is, don't ever stop looking after yourself. Of course your child/ren will always come first but they need a strong healthy Mummy most importantly. I've had so many blog posts I've been wanting to do but the past few weeks I've felt so empty and alone, I've felt lifeless if I'm honest. I'm hoping I will feel better by tonight, and from now I'm just going to take it slow, make time to have a warm drink in the morning, a bit of breakfast, I need to start having lunch and I need to drink. I've got bottled water that I am going to aim to drink 3 a day. I want to feel like I have the energy to enjoy life, not feeling like I'm running on empty and pushing myself beyond my maximum. 

It's time to start looking after ME. 


4 comments :

  1. Oh Tara this was hard to read, I hope you're feeling better! It is really important that we look after ourselves as like you said our babies can't be happy if we're not xx

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    1. Thank you lovely, I am feeling much better now xx

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  2. It's easily done when your so driven to be the best mum you can be and give your kids everything they need. Hope you start to feel better soon lovely. Take it easy and focus on you X X

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    1. Thank you, I am feeling a lot better now xx

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